all my marbles

Moonbean Coffee Company – 30 St Andrew St, Kensington Market

Moonbean is a heavy sigh of relief – palpable in the Toronto heat. Tour groups take shelter here, feel the cool sting against their burning throats as they sip fresh glasses of lavender lemonade on the patio. The shade kisses their sunburnt shoulders.

Inside, the padded bench seat cushions my thighs as I balance a laptop an iced coffee on a wobbly table and bump elbows with the person sitting next to me. They are wiping tears away. I imagine the tears join immediately with the humid summer air and surround us. We are all of us here in the coffee shop swimming in this stranger’s tears, breathing them in like fish do. The stranger loudly carries on with an online therapy session on an ancient, dusty laptop. They must feel safe here. 

The Black Canary Espresso Bar – 61 Sherbourne St, Old Toronto 

This is the best chai latte in the city. It tastes heavily of cinnamon and it isn’t too sweet. In the winter, the moisture from the plants and the talk from the patrons fogs up the windows and transports me to a warmer, gentler place. Outside, the harsh Toronto wind blows bitter, tastes metallic. The cinnamon from my latte and the cardamom from my sticky bun warm my tongue. 

Rooster Coffee House – 479 Broadview Ave, Riverdale

The little striped awning and the friendly red umbrellas are storybook-like. Is this East End Toronto or cottage country? The coffee shop sits on top of the hill and wakes as the sun crests, like its namesake. In the afternoon, golden light pours through the windows and the floor tiles are set adrift. Outside the windows, people huddle on the hillside like puffins on a rock. Giant waves of setting sunlight crash against them and they laugh and take photographs, seemingly overjoyed to be sharing this moment with each other. 

Cafe23 – 728 Queen St W, Trinity Bellwoods 

If I close my eyes, it sounds like home. The walled patio behind Cafe23 is something Frances Hodgson Burnett would dream up. There are pots of flowers I have never seen blooming in Toronto, and the birds above seem to know this. They sing about the East Coast – large forests and gentle beaches and tall bushes bright with rosebuds. The stone walls drown out the din of Queen Street. Girls nearby pull new books out of tote bags and rustle through their pages. 

Colette and I lament about our desk jobs in the arts. We wonder if we’re going about this the right way, and an older lady wearing fabulous earrings turns her head. She reveals she has been listening in, and that we are in fact a clandestine telephone call from her past. She would like to let us know that on her end of the line, things turn out alright. 

5 Elements Espresso Bar – 131 Avenue Rd, The Annex 

I wake up early on Saturdays to go to 5 Elements with Leila and Hannah. If the sun is suffering from its annual shyness, we make the trek in darkness. My bleary eyes register little and I toddle along trustingly behind them. The early morning air smells of Hannah’s rosemary shampoo. While they pick at essays and page through readings, I wait for the bitter smell of Leila’s black coffee to ground me. I am not the natural early riser they are, but their company is a welcome motivator. One day, we will not live within walking distance of this cafe anymore. We will operate on different schedules, in different parts of the city, and I will think of them every time I smell rosemary or strong coffee.